


A Chat with Conscience

by Nicor_Fyrweorm



Series: Last of the Time Lords [16]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Feels, Gen, Missing Scene, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Master Has Issues (Doctor Who)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 04:00:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30015798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicor_Fyrweorm/pseuds/Nicor_Fyrweorm
Summary: “I had a chat with myconscience,apparently. A very long, very… veryloudchat. We argued. I insulted him, he kept reminding me I have emotions, confessions were made, realizations were reached, and the bastard just vanished to leave me dealing with the fallout on my own,” the Doctor explains with a scoff, and while Rory is confused for a second about the 'he' part, he decides to shrug it off a moment later.Or, a missing scene fromRory's Choice,discussions of conscience or lack thereof, and feels. Lots and lots of feels.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor & The Master (Simm), The Doctor & The Master (Doctor Who), The Master & The Doctor's TARDIS
Series: Last of the Time Lords [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1511825
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	A Chat with Conscience

**Author's Note:**

> Like it says in the tin, this is the "chat with my conscience" missing scene in _Rory's Choice_ that the Master mentions in _The Pandorica Closes._

“Koschei.” 

—and attach the negative end to the positive pole to complete the circuit. Now, where's that electrical tape, did it roll off the console platform again? Ugh, these pockets are too small, how he longs for his screwdriver – ah, no, there's the tape— 

“ _Koschei.”_

Ugh, it tastes _disgusting,_ and he's eaten a lot of distasteful things in this regeneration—regeneration, resurrection, incarnation, _whatever—_ but he needs one hand to keep the wires in place and the other to roll the electrical tape to the length he needs, so biting through the tape to cut it will have to do. 

“ _Master!”_

“ _Don't_ call me _that!”_ Koschei roars at last, rounding on the insufferable ghost that is haunting him in the TARDIS, and feels his already furrowed brows twitch when the electrical tape sticks messily to his hand. 

Skaro ablaze, what a _mess._

Rory fell out the TARDIS, but there's nothing to worry about – he _hopes._

Apparently, the pain in the ass was trying to land them on the next anomaly she had detected, in 1969 Kent, so Rory just 'fell' out the door instead of being thrown out into the Time Vortex. 

He thinks. He hopes. Eternals, he _prays_ for it to be what happened. Time Lords can't suffer direct exposure to the Time Vortex without coming out wrong in one way or another— _deep breath, not the drums, just your heartsbeat—_ and humans are so much _less_ than Time Lords. Koschei _really_ doesn't want to know what would happen to a human if they were to— 

No. No, don't think about it because it isn't _true._ The TARDIS was trying to land, she materialized for a moment before whatever is stopping her sent her back into the Vortex, and it was in that second that Rory fell off. The TARDIS likes Rory, she always purrs when he's around and helps him find rooms he can distract himself in when Koschei is busy, and she never turns on the smoke alarm when he tries to cook in the kitchen, even if there's smoke – she turns the smoke alarm in the room _Koschei_ is in, sending him scrambling for cover before he realizes what's going on and rushes to the kitchen to give Rory a hand with their meal. 

No, the TARDIS likes Rory, and she would have done her absolute best to try to find a safe place for him to land on when it seemed they were going to crash-land. Koschei has to trust her about that. 

This doesn't mean he isn't driving himself mad trying to find a way to bypass whatever is keeping the TARDIS from landing, and she seems to agree enough to not bother him about the mess he's making of her console and the storage and anywhere he thinks he can find something to _help._

At least Rory grabbed onto Koschei's tailcoat as he fell. He has the psychic paper to try and avoid trouble, and the sonic screwdriver in the chance he _does_ get in trouble, though Koschei never taught him how to use it… 

Skaro ablaze. He _really_ hopes Rory does _not_ run headlong into the anomaly, whatever it is. Something capable of preventing a TARDIS from materializing can go from extremely lucky annoyance to terrifyingly efficient monster. 

It's 1969. The Doctor hadn't yet been exiled to Earth, and the Master was nowhere close. Whatever the problem is this time, at least it isn't their fault. 

“Isn't it? Isn't it _really?_ Because I don't really know, but it looks to me like _someone_ is a bit guilty of Rory being out there instead of, you know, _in here?”_ Theta accuses again, arms crossed against his chest and eyebrow lifted, and Koschei snarls silently at him. 

Bloody ghost, thinking he can act as his consciousness… 

“ _I_ didn't push him out the door,” he scoffs dangerously, but he's completely aware of how petulant that sounds and thus turns his attention to the length of electrical tape still stuck to his hand, ripping it off in one fast pull and a hissed curse. “Whatever, I'm going to get him back, make sure he didn't get in trouble, give an _earful_ to the Rassilon-damned _idiot_ who thought messing with me was a good idea, and drop Rory back in Leadworth. No harm, no foul.” 

“And that's that? Don't you have _something_ to say to him?” Theta insists, the second eyebrow joining the first in its judgmental arch, and Koschei slams the length of electrical tape on the console before turning around with a snarl on his face, forgetting about the bare wire hanging precariously from the connector under the console. 

“Oh, _shut up!_ Like _you_ can give anyone life lessons on _apologies!_ At least I'm not running away from my problems!” 

“Really? Could've fooled me.” 

“Don't you _dare—”_

“What? Don't I dare do what? Help?” Theta interrupts again, leaning against the railing with an unimpressed expression that makes Koschei's sight flash red and the drums overtake his rational sense once more— 

The TARDIS jerks violently, almost throwing him off his feet, as she moans and shrieks against the new assault she's received with as she attempts yet another landing. 

Koschei curses and reaches for the controls, fiddling with them as he tries to get a read on the anomaly itself, but he's forced to up the zigzag plotter's level to avoid the TARDIS being flung off into the Vortex, forever lost, before he can get anything conclusive. 

“Dammit!” he snarls, slamming his fist on the corner of the console, and earning himself a static zap and a grumble from the TARDIS for his trouble. “Oh, you shut up too, you prissy thing! In case you didn't notice, I'm trying to keep you in one piece _and_ fix the mess you threw us into, _Princess,”_ he hisses after jerking his hand away, rubbing it to try and get the feeling of pins and needles off of his skin. 

The TARDIS harrumphs, but she doesn't zap him again as he reaches for the fallen wire to reattach it at last, picking at the wrinkly but still sticky length of electrical cable he has been battling against, finally wrapping it around the wire and its connector. 

… It's an _abysmal_ patch job. Good thing there are no other Time Lords around to take a look at it and wonder how on Gallifrey Koschei managed to graduate from the Academy. Which, wow, _unfair._ He was one of the best of his promotion. It isn't his fault that he's working under pressure, in terrible conditions, all alone, and with a _ghost_ bothering him every other second. 

He straightens and pulls the screen around to check the readings once more, and dread grows in his hearts as he sees the numbers on it grow steadily higher from each distortion to the next. 

“Skaro's radioactive flares,” he hisses, glaring at the screen one more second before he lifts the panel to his left once more, making sure his patchwork improvements are still holding on after the last quake, and checking what else he can try to upgrade to _fix this already._ “Right, this one over here could do with another coil, and ugh, I thought _you_ were attached properly! Any more tape and I'll have to re-do the whole circuit just to fit it! And would you stop glaring at my back? I'm _working,”_ he hisses at the TARDIS first and Theta second, sending him a piercing look over his shoulder even as he reaches for a manual— _ugh—_ screwdriver to secure the offending— 

The ghost is serious. 

“What's got into you now? You were fine with having Rory around just yesterday, and today you're just… That, doing that.” 

“What, _pulling a Doctor?”_ he retorts sharply as he turns around, screwdriver forgotten, and Theta stiffens and scratches his neck nervously a moment later, opening his mouth to babble more nonsense that Koschei cuts with his next words. “Oh, don't you even _start._ As if you've never done this before. Why should I be nice to a human I don't want around?” 

“Maybe because he considers you a friend?” 

“Martha considered you more than that and you still played her like a fiddle,” he shoots back mercilessly, and Theta's eyes blow wide with a sharp intake of breath. “I've done my homework, you see. Checking up on all your little adventures since the end of the Time War. You wanted to keep clever and resourceful Martha around so much that you chose to ignore her feelings, to make no effort to acknowledge them or let her know you could _never_ see her that way. It wouldn't have been convenient, would it? After all, if she'd known she had no chance, she would have stopped traveling, tried to get some space, find herself a normal human man to live a normal human life with,” he continues, practically _seeing_ the wounds he's ripping open in the Doctor's hearts. “And you couldn't live like that, not until she realized she was so much _better_ than what _you_ offered her. And she got out,” he adds, stepping closer with a large grin and his arms open in show. “So, really, you think you can judge me? Because, dear Doctor, this is me, getting out. No more humans, no more _Rory._ Only me.” 

“No, I – Yeah, well, _alright!_ So I wasn't perfect, _no one is!_ Not even _you!_ And you need someone just as much as I did!” the Doctor protests, stepping closer to glare at him almost face to face. 

“Oh, I see! Should I go get Donna then?” he asks with an exaggerated questioning face, and the Doctor pulls back as if slapped, eyes wide. “Ah, that's right. She can't even see me, because _someone_ had to erase her memories!” 

“I didn't want to! I never wanted her to get hurt!” 

“Neither do _I!”_

And the TARDIS is silent, only Koschei's harsh breathing and a soft sad rumor filling the control room as his own words dawn on him. 

“That's why you pushed him away. That's why you're pushing him away now, after he said he considered you his friend—” the Doctor – _Theta_ says as he starts pacing around the console, his arm phasing through Koschei's as he goes and snapping him out of his rage. “You don't want him to get hurt! You don't want Rory to get hurt, like what happened to Amy!” 

“ _SHUT UP!”_ he roars as he snarls at the ghost, and his bright knowing grin drops almost faster than it appeared. “Shut up…” 

“Koschei…” 

“No. I'm done. Go away.” 

“Kosch—” 

“Go _away!_ What in Skaro can you tell me that I wouldn't already know? You're nothing! A vision! Regret, guilt, _brain damage!_ You're _in my head!_ You're _**nothing,**_ and you know _**nothing,**_ and _I don't need you._ I don't need _**anyone,”**_ he hisses, and even though Theta looks hurt for a moment, he pops away nonetheless. 

And Koschei is left all alone with only the TARDIS' longing whine. 

No Doctor. No Amy or Rory. No River or Jack or Rose or Martha or Mickey or Sarah Jane or Donna or Wilf or— 

No one. 

Like it should be. Like it should have _always_ been, ever since Rassilon cursed him with that detestable beat that led to his friends' and family's blood spilled all over his hands while he grins at their ghosts in _glee._

Koschei covers his lower face, but his first sob still manages to make it out to echo in the empty control room. 

“I shouldn't even have you,” he whispers once he can finally breathe properly, staring at the glass floor under his feet, a tiny part of his mind noticing how he can't see the ground underneath with the lights shining on the glass at this angle. 

The TARDIS zaps him again, but this time, the static clings to his skin regardless of how hard he tries to rub it off. 

If his curses sound a bit wet and chocked, she doesn't bother pointing it out.

**Author's Note:**

> I had this written in the failed draft that was going to be _LotTL's_ version of _The Lodger,_ but since that episode got replaced by _Rory's Choice_ because it was stubborn, the scene was lost. I found it while chasing for inspiration as to how to finish the next installment of _LotTL,_ and I decided that I could post it after a bit of a reworking. Reworking's done, so...
> 
> The next episode is almost done, by the way, sorry for the wait. I wrote myself into a dead end and I was trying to figure out if it was fixable or if I would have to find myself a different episode to tackle things, but I finally got it. Just missing the ending, I'll probably post it next week at the latest. Sorry again!
> 
> And in the meantime, the drabbles keep attacking. So... guess you won't get bored?
> 
> Let me know if the drabble thing is too misleading/annoying, I don't intend for it to be, but I know it can come across that way. I can try to link all drabbles to a different series if it interferes with the main story. My intention is that the occasional drabbles work a bit like _Night and the Doctor, Pond Life_ or the prequels in S02/S06 and others. If they get in the way, though, they can be rearranged. Thanks!


End file.
